


green light

by octothorpetopus



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: 5+1 Things, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Hurt Danny "Danno" Williams, M/M, Mutual Pining, POV Danny "Danno" Williams, Season/Series 01, Sharing a Bed, Song: Green Light (Lorde), Steve McGarrett Has Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-19 01:35:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29618589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/octothorpetopus/pseuds/octothorpetopus
Summary: 5 times Danny wanted to kiss Steve + 1 time he did
Relationships: Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Comments: 7
Kudos: 114





	green light

_1\. somebody else’s car_

It has been less than a week since Steve McGarrett pointed a gun at Danny’s head, and Danny already can’t imagine what life was like before they met.

Steve is still unbelievably irritating, and he still refuses to let Danny drive his own car, but there are moments. When Kono tells a bad joke, or when Chin flirts with the pretty young Navy recruits that pass through the office, or when Danny has to take a break to dump sand out of his shoes and Steve smiles behind his hand so no one can see, those are the moments Danny thinks maybe he’s not a robot. He’s just quiet. And annoying.

Steve is driving Danny’s car. It’s late, and Steve’s just paid off their tab at the Hilton bar. He’s been drinking club soda for an hour, so Danny has given up the keys voluntarily this time. He’s not drunk, but he’s tipsy, he can feel it in his fingertips and behind his eyes. It’s a pleasant warmth, the kind he’s only experienced a few times since coming to Hawaii. Steve has hardly spoken and for once, Danny doesn’t want to talk. He flips on the radio and smiles.

“I love the Eagles,” he says.

“Yeah. Me too.” Danny begins humming along to Peaceful Easy Feeling, and after a moment, he realizes that Steve is actually singing along. His voice is low and gravelly and almost inaudible over the sound of tires on gravel, but he’s singing. It’s only been six days, and he already knows the way to Danny’s apartment by heart. The road is winding, and Danny’s head is spinning like a record on a turntable. 

There is Steve and there is the radio. 

There is Steve and there is darkness. 

There is Steve… and there is Danny.

“You know, I wasn’t so sure about you,” he says. “At first. But you’re alright, McGarrett.”

“Thanks, Danny. I appreciate your stamp of approval, I really do.”

“Can you cut the sarcasm? Please? I’m trying to be genuine.” Danny thinks he sees Steve smile.

“So was I.” The car pulls up to the curb outside his building.

“How are you getting home? Or are you planning on stealing my car?” Steve pulls the keys out of the ignition and hands them to Danny. His rough fingertips brush Danny’s palm, setting Danny’s skin on fire.

“Nah. I’ll catch a cab. See you tomorrow.” He doesn’t move and neither does Danny. Against the streetlights, Steve is silhouetted in perfect profile. 

“You want to come in? Have a nightcap?” Danny can’t believe he’s offering, but he is, and he’s praying Steve says yes. He’s praying Steve will say yes, or that time will freeze and he will be able to sit here forever, staring at the flawless outline of his face. Steve McGarrett is a walking work of art, flesh and blood that could just as easily have jumped off the page of Michaelangelo’s sketchbook. Chiseled nose, sharp jaw, fluttering eyelashes, and sculpted lips. Danny can imagine those lips on his, and now that he’s thinking about it, he can’t imagine anything else. There are two things wrong with that. Number one, Steve McGarrett is a man. Not just a man, but the manliest man Danny has ever met. And Danny has never once thought about kissing a man. (Okay, that’s a lie. But dreaming about kissing a young Bruce Springsteen doesn’t count, right?) And number two, Steve is his boss. Sort of. Technically. Maybe. Danny doesn’t really know how the hierarchy of this task force works yet, but he’s fairly certain that Steve is his superior. All in all, he’s pretty sure he’s losing his mind.

Time does not freeze. Steve opens the car door and gets out with a wink and a grin and Danny is left alone thinking maybe if he’d kissed Steve, it wouldn’t have been so bad. He won’t know now, and maybe that’s why he’s thinking it. He’ll never know if it would have been a good idea to kiss Steve right then and there, and so he’s allowed to hope for the best. _It’s an outcome I’ll never see,_ Danny thinks to himself. _So what’s the harm in hoping?_

_2\. did it frighten you?_

All that Danny can remember from the day is that one second, that moment when the phone went out and he had no idea whether Steve was alive or dead on that ship. They had been joking, they were always joking, and then there was a clatter and some yelling and the phone went dead and Danny hadn’t been that terrified since Grace was a baby, when he used to stand over her crib all night and watch her breathe.

And Steve is fine, he is practically untouched, but he also has that wild look in his eyes that he has when he’s scared, which isn’t often, and that scares Danny even more. Steve hasn’t told them what happened on the ship, other than that he’d talked Graham down. He just looks scared. Danny can still see him, goggles hanging around his neck, boots in hand, golden skin shining under the sun for a split second before he disappeared into the shadows. He shines wherever he goes. He lights up every room. From his own office, Danny can see faint life from Steve’s desk. He hasn’t gone home, he always refuses to leave until everyone else is gone. But Danny’s not going to leave him alone. He shuts his laptop, which has been sitting open while Danny pretends to work, and starts towards Steve’s office. Steve, too, doesn’t appear to be working. He doesn’t appear to be doing anything. He’s just sitting in his desk chair, staring up at the ceiling. As Danny gets closer, he can see that Steve has his knees pulled up to his chest, like a little kid. There is something heartbreaking about seeing that way, in that position, still with his tattoos and boots and the scar that cuts through one eyebrow. Danny almost doesn’t want to intrude. Then Steve spots him through the blinds, and he has no choice. He knocks on the doorframe as he enters, even though Steve is already beckoning him in. His boots are flat on the floor now, and there is a slight red flush that spreads from his cheeks all the way to the tips of his ears. 

“So you are capable of knocking.”

“Ha-ha. Funny.”

“Always.” Steve goes back to staring at the ceiling.

“You should go home, Steve. It’s late.”

“In a bit. Not ready yet. Work to finish up.”

“Yeah, you look like you’re hard at work.” Steve’s mouth flattens into a grimace. 

“You should be the one going home. It’s your weekend with Grace, isn’t it?” Danny nods.

“Yeah, it is. I’m picking her up at nine. I’d like to get some sleep before then.”

“Then go home.”

“Not until you do.” Steve laughs, a big sound that fills the office.

“You’re a stubborn bastard.”

“That’s what you tell me.” Danny folds his arms across his chest. “Look, Steve, no one will blame you if you want to take the day off tomorrow. You were in a hostage situation. Even for a SEAL, that’s rough shit.” Shaking his head, Steve tries to smile.

“I’m fine.”

“Really? Because I’m not. I wasn’t even on that boat, and I was freakin’ terrified.”

“What for?” It’s puzzling sometimes, how unaware Steve is.

“For you, babe. I’m telling you, when I heard a commotion and the phone went dead… I thought you were gone.” A crease forms between Steve’s eyebrows and he purses his lips. “I know you do this kind of stuff all the time, McGarrett, but I don't. I’m not used to it and I don’t know that I’ll ever be. And if I ever do get used to it, I think that’s when I’ll be done. Anyway, my point is… no one here respects you any less for being scared. In fact, I’d be pretty unnerved if you weren’t. That’s all.” Neither of them speaks, and all Danny can think is how flat his life was before Steve. He lost Rachel, he was constantly teetering on the verge of losing Grace (and still is), he moved somewhere he didn’t know or particularly like. All he had was work, and then work brought him to Steve, and even with the moments like the one earlier today, Danny can’t imagine going back.

“I was trained as a SEAL.” Steve says, and his voice has changed. He sounds younger, less confident. “Like Graham. And I was a good soldier, one of the best, but… but so was he. You know, most of the guys we go up against, they’re untrained mercenaries. Graham’s the first person… he could have killed me if he wanted to. I mean, he really could have. He knew exactly what I was trained to do just like I knew what he was trained to do. And that hasn’t happened to me in a long time.” He pulls his knees to his chest again and takes a long, slow breath. “It didn’t help that he was off his meds, in the middle of a breakdown. Someone that volatile and that well-trained… it’s a miracle I made it back. And I don’t say that lightly.” It’s all there, Danny realizes. Deep down, below all the macho posturing, is every ounce of fear Danny feels every day when he puts on his badge and gun and remembers if he makes a misstep, he might never see Gracie again. That fear lives just below the surface in Danny, but in Steve, it is buried and only beginning to crack him open. Steve is terrified that he almost died, and he is terrified that almost dying has finally managed to shake him. Without thinking, Danny extends a hand across the desk. 

“Come on.” He twitches his fingers. Steve glances down at the hand, then back up at Danny, and puts his own hand in Danny’s. Danny gets up and pulls Steve along behind him. “Hit the lights, would you? We’re getting out of here.”

“What-?”

“Don’t argue with me. Come on.”

It’s dark outside, and they stand in the glow of a floodlight. Steve has yet to let go of Danny’s hand. Danny isn’t willing to let go yet.

“What are we doing out here?”

“You are going to take a walk around the block. You’re going to get some air, you’re going to think about anything other than what happened today, and then you’re going to get in your car and go home. Tomorrow, you’re going to call the governor and tell her you’re taking the day off and you’re going to actually take the day off. Go surfing or fishing or whatever it is you island people do in your free time. Get out of your own head. You’re trapped there.” Steve stammers, clearly unused to being told what to do. 

“I’m just gonna go for a walk around the block?”

“And then get in your car and-”

“And get in my car and go home and call the governor and go fishing. Got it.” Steve lingers and for just a moment, Danny thinks he’s leaning down. But it must be a trick of the light, or a hallucination pulled straight from Danny’s dreams, because he pulls his hand out of Danny’s and starts away down the sidewalk. 

“I should’ve…” he says to no one and doesn’t finish. Should’ve what? He doesn’t have an answer. He just watches Steve disappear. 

_3\. a different bedroom_

Steve won’t let him go home. Danny would be infuriated, but he’s too tired for fury. He just allows Steve to open the car door for him, and pretends not to notice the concern on his face.

“You didn’t have to stay, you know. You never met Meka. It was nice of you to be there for Amy, but I had it covered.”

“I wasn’t there for Amy,” Steve says. He looks nice in his dress blues. “I was there for you.”

“Well, thanks, but I wish you’d let me go home. I want to sleep.”

“And you will. But you’re gonna do it in my guest room.” Two months, they’ve spent together, and Danny can’t remember why he ever didn’t like Steve. Maybe because Steve just… wasn’t Meka. He may not be Meka, but he’s a good man. Not that Danny will ever say that to his face. 

Danny reaches for the radio just as Steve does and their hands collide. He sucks in a breath and pulls his hand back into his lap. Nothing has happened, so why does he feel like something has? Danny needs to look at something, the road or the ocean or the distant city. He forces his eyes up to the rearview mirror, expecting to see palm trees or headlights. Instead, there are only Steve’s hazel eyes, and Danny is transfixed, locked on like a tractor beam. He cannot be seeing this. It’s grief or exhaustion or imagination. It must be. There is no other explanation, not one that makes sense.

“Come on.” Steve pulls Danny’s car into the driveway. Danny has walked this path to Steve’s front door many times. He knows every inch of the dirt and grass, he knows exactly where the steps are. He could do it with his eyes closed. Instead, he allows Steve to lead him inside and waits in the space between the door and the living room while Steve sets the alarm system. It’s unusual, he has entered unannounced and made himself at home for weeks. This time is different. 

“Give me a minute to get the guest bed made up. Make yourself comfortable.” Danny sits at one of the dining room chairs and tries to imagine Steve as a kid, living in this same house. It’s inconceivable. He cannot imagine Steve as a kid at all. What would he look like, twenty years younger, without the weight of the world on his shoulders?

There is a crash from somewhere in the house and Danny leaps to his feet, hand on his gun.

“Steve?” he calls. His heart is in his throat. “Steve, are you-?” Steve appears in the hallway, looking unharmed and sheepish. 

“No one’s used that room in years. Moisture got into the wood in the bedframe. Totally collapsed on me.”

“Are you alright?”

“Fine.” Danny wants to laugh from how ridiculous Steve looks, out of breath and slightly disheveled. “It’s all good. I’ll take the couch, and you can sleep in my bed.”

“Absolutely not.” Steve makes a beeline for the living room and Danny steps into his path. “I’m intruding on your space. I’ll take the couch. It’s fine.”

“No, you won’t, Danno. You’re my guest, you’re not sleeping on the couch.”

“Then give me my keys, for God’s sake, and I’ll just go sleep in my own perfectly nice apartment.”

“‘Perfectly nice’ is putting it strongly. And no, I meant what I said. You’re not gonna be by yourself tonight.” Danny scoffs.

“You know, Meka was stubborn like this, too.” Steve looks almost touched.

“Yeah? Makes sense.” He nudges Danny’s shoulder. “Takes a fighter to put up with you as a partner.”

“Hey!”

“Sorry.” Steve smiles broadly, and Danny melts. 

“You’re nice to do this, Steve. You really are. But I’ll take the couch, and I won’t hear another word of protest.”

“I… my bed’s a king. And you’re fairly… compact.” Danny rolls his eyes.

“Real nice, McGarrett.”

“I’m just saying I think we could both fit. And I’m cool with sharing.” Is it some strange grief-induced dream? Because it can’t possibly be happening. Steve McGarrett cannot be inviting Danny to share his king-size bed. “I promise it won’t collapse. It’s been plenty road-tested.” Danny feels his face turn bright red and Steve stammers. “Uh, that’s not what I meant. I just mean that I sleep in that bed and it hasn’t collapsed on me and I did not mean that-”

“I got it,” Danny interrupts.

“So? I mean, I can grab my stuff and head to the couch, or-”

“It’s cool. I mean, I share just about everything else in my life with you, including but not limited to my car.”

“Okay. Great.” Steve smiles again. “I’ll just go clean up a little. Uh, there’s a bathroom just through there, and there’s some extra toothbrushes in the cabinet. I’ll, um-” he cuts himself off abruptly and turns around. Danny waits until he’s out of earshot and bursts out laughing, clapping a hand over his mouth to muffle the sound. If he didn’t think his life sounded like a shitty soap opera before, he sure as hell does now. He wonders what Meka would think of this, of Danny’s raging schoolboy crush on his new partner. It was always Meka pushing Danny out of his house on nights off, pushing him to get Rachel out of his head and find someone new. Danny doesn’t think Steve was really what his old best friend had in mind, but he thinks Meka would be happy for him anyway, as unrealistic as the ideas floating through Danny’s head are. 

Danny finds Steve in his bedroom, smoothing out the covers over his bed. He’s taken off most of his uniform, but he’s still wearing his dress shirt, unbuttoned over his bare chest. Danny can’t decide if Steve knows what he’s doing or if he’s truly oblivious to the effect he has on Danny. 

“‘Scuse me.” Steve’s head snaps up. “Do you have some clothes I could borrow? Pajamas?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” He pulls a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt out of a drawer. “I’m not sure they’ll fit, but-”

“They’re fine.”

“Cool. If you want to give me your uniform, I can send it to the dry cleaner with mine tomorrow.” He doesn’t move, and Danny realizes he’s waiting.

“Right. Right.” Of course Steve wouldn’t think there’s anything strange about Danny changing his clothes in front of him. Steve strips down in front of Danny all the time. Why is this any different? Before he can overthink it any further, Danny unbuttons his uniform shirt and slides it off. He pulls his undershirt over his head as quickly as possible and flinches at the cool air on his bare skin. Steve’s eyes flick down to his chest and then back up, breaking that painfully intense eye contact only for a second, but it’s a second that Danny notices, and it’s a second he will think about for a long time. They are so excruciatingly close now. All it would take is one step. One step forward and Danny’s hand on the back of Steve’s neck, pulling him down…

But Danny grabs the new shirt out of Steve’s hands and pulls it on, creating a barrier between his skin and the air that separates him from Steve. _Coward,_ he thinks. Steve hands him the pants and sidesteps out of the room, muttering something about the alarm. The pants are much too long for Danny, but he rolls up the cuffs and they’re not so bad. He looks nice in Steve’s old clothes. It’s too bad this is the only time he’ll ever get to wear them. 

Steve returns and shuts off the overhead light, leaving only the glow of the lamp on the nightstand. He pulls off his shirt and pants and Danny averts his eyes. He has enough shame for the both of them. Steve gets into the bed on one side and Danny slides in on the other, lying as close to the edge as he can without falling out. They are both staring up at the ceiling and Danny can feel the nervous energy in the room. He’s so tired, but the idea of sleeping while Steve lies awake beside him is enough to make him want to change his name and move to Peru. 

“You know, back in Jersey, I couldn’t sleep without the noise. All the honking and chatter from down on the street. It’s so quiet here.”

“I like the quiet.” Danny turns his head to look at Steve, prepared to make some sarcastic quip that will lighten the mood. But Steve is already looking over at him, and the joke dies on his tongue. “If you close your eyes-” Steve’s voice is so quiet it’s hardly audible. “-and listen, you can hear the ocean.” He is holding Danny’s eyes in that tractor-beam gaze again. “Try it.” Against all his better judgement, Danny squeezes his eyes shut. He can hear the ocean, the waves riding up onto the beach and pulling away. He can hear Steve’s breathing, shallow and almost shaky. He can hear his own heartbeat, hummingbird-fast. 

“Can you hear it?” Danny nods. “Good.” His eyes stay closed until he hears the click of the lamp going dark. “Good night, Danno.”

“Night, Steve.” He opens his eyes and Steve has rolled onto his side, facing Danny with his whole body now, one hand under his head and the other only inches from Danny. It will be a miracle if Danny can sleep tonight, but he does. He dreams of crashing waves and Meka’s teasing voice and Steve McGarrett in his dress blues, smiling down at Danny.

_4\. different drinks at the same bar_

Chin and Kono have gone home. They are always the first to go home. But Danny’s enjoying himself, and Steve doesn’t seem inclined to leave, even with his broken arm. Steve watches the band and Danny watches Steve, wondering what he would have done if this morning had gone any differently. He doesn’t like to think about that, not ever. They are in far too many near-death situations, and Danny learned a while ago that dwelling on what could have been instead of what really happened only makes him more scared. He is, however, unable to take his eyes off the white plaster cast on Steve’s arm, marked in big black letters with Kamekona’s handwriting. Danny is the one person he hasn’t allowed to sign it, just because he loves to be frustrating, and as exasperating as it is, Danny feels special, somehow, that Steve’s singled him out. That he is a member of the team, but he’s not just another member of the team. He is something more. 

“Another round?” Steve asks.

“I’ll get it.” Danny stops him halfway to his feet. “Least I can do.”

“Thanks, babe.” Danny walks away before Steve can see how red his face is. That’s the second time today Steve has called him ‘babe’. Danny calls everyone ‘babe’, a residual from his Jersey days, but Steve doesn’t. Not until recently, and even then, it’s only Danny. So what is it? Is it pure affection? Or is it the time they’ve spent together, his vernacular and Danny’s blurring together with time and friendship? Either one is a paralyzing thought. Danny has to remind himself that Steve is too quiet for that kind of public affection, and that he’s probably still dating the girl who works on the aircraft carrier, and that even if he isn’t, it’s not Danny. Not for him. 

Danny orders two Longboard beers and watches Steve from the distance. He tries to ignore the rope burn on his palms. Man, that was a sickening feeling, the rope slipping from his hands. It wasn’t his fault, Steve assured him, but all Danny knows is that one moment the rope was in his hands and the next it wasn’t and that sure feels like it was his fault. He didn’t go to the hospital because he didn’t want Kono or Chin or even Steve to suspect that Danny’s stupid little crush has inflated to the size of a balloon. It’s pressing on his lungs and on his stomach and on his heart. But, he realizes now, that was stupid and he should have just gone to the hospital and put his mind at ease. No one would have suspected, because who’s going to suspect that someone like Danny has feelings for someone like Steve?

He takes a beer in each hand and goes back to the table. Steve glances over at him and grins.

“Thanks,” he says.

“No problem.” Danny takes a long sip and loosens his tie. “I’m glad you’re alright, you know.” Steve shakes his head.

“It’s just a broken arm. I’ve broken my arms before.”

“Both of ‘em?”

“Yep.”

“When?” Steve thinks for a moment. “This one-” He holds up his good arm. “-I broke when I was seven and I was learning how to surf. I fell off my board, got pulled in by the tide, and hit a rock. I was freaking out, because I was seven, but my dad just sat there and said, ‘Calm down, Steven, it’s just a fracture.’”

“That’s a hell of a thing to tell a seven-year-old.”

“Isn’t it? That was my dad for you.”

“And the other one?” Steve glances down at his cast. 

“I was thirteen. Football accident. I’ve broken both arms, one leg, one foot, my collarbone, and four fingers.”

“Jesus. What, are you a pain magnet?”

“No. I think I just like running headfirst into danger more than I should.”

“No kidding.”

“You should see the things I don’t do.” Danny wants to ask what that means. He wants nothing more. But he won’t ask because there are some questions where the answer will never be what he wants it to be. 

“You worry me,” he says. It’s a joke, or at least Steve takes it as one. 

“I worry everyone. But it’s not your job to be worried for me. It’s my job to look out for you, not the other way around.”

“We’re partners, Steve. You might technically be my boss, but I’m your partner as much as you are mine. Don’t forget that.”

“Thanks. It’s nice to know you’ve got my back.”

“I do. But, you know, partners let other partners sign their casts when they break their arms.”

“Alright, fine.” Steve holds out his arm. “Sign it.”

“Do you have a pen?” He sighs and pulls a pen out of one of the many, many pockets on his cargo pants. Danny pulls the cap off and thinks for a moment. _DANNO,_ he signs in big block letters, and Steve’s face lights up a little. After a moment of hesitation, he adds a heart after his name, and Steve’s face lights up a lot. His smile is pearly white, and Danny thinks maybe he is completely and entirely perfect.

“You happy now?”

“Yes,” Danny says, and he is. Until Steve checks his watch.

“Hey, don’t you have to go get Grace tomorrow? It’s one o’clock.”

“Shit. I oughta go. Walk me to my car?”

“For sure.” Steve finishes off his beer, and then reaches across the table and finishes Danny’s, too.

“Whoa, McGarrett, slow down. What are you drinking like that for?” Steve smirks, but this time, it seems strained.

“You remember what I said about the things I don’t do?”

“Yeah?” Steve just shrugs. He doesn’t elaborate. He follows Danny to the parking lot, lagging a step or two behind. Danny is painfully aware of Steve’s eyes on the back of his neck.

“You know, you can walk next to me, Steven.” Danny waits while Steve half-jogs to catch up. His knuckles brush Danny’s arm twice before he puts his hands in his pockets, ducking his head and looking away so that Danny can’t tell what he’s thinking.

They stop at the white Camaro and Steve doesn’t say anything. They are standing between two cars, and they are so, _so_ close. Steve leans carefully against the hood of the other car, moving slowly so as not to set off the alarm.

“I’ll see you on Monday, Danno?” Danny doesn’t respond. He’s still thinking about all of the strange things Steve has said tonight.

“What did you mean when you said I should see the things you don’t do?”

“What?”

“What did you mean?” Steve stammers, turning his eyes to the sky, the trees, the car, anywhere but Danny.

“I just meant… I mean that… I… you…” He stands up and rubs one hand over his stubble. It is not the one that brushed Danny’s arm. That hand is still in his pocket. He is looking at Danny now, not his eyes but just below. And Danny, Danny cannot take his eyes off of Steve’s lips. “Well, we-“

“Steve-“ Danny puts his hand on Steve’s cast arm and steps forward. Steve steps back, pure instinct, and kicks the car behind him. An alarm starts blaring, lights flash, and they both jump. Danny’s hand slips back to his side.

“I, um- I should go to.” Steve’s voice is loud as he shouts over the alarm. “I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Yeah,” Danny replies, watching Steve’s back as he goes. “Monday.” He has even more questions and even fewer answers. And suddenly he is less confident in what he thought he knew. He does not know what to think. Only that Steve was going to say something, and Danny does not know what it was.

_5\. waiting for it_

Danny’s never died before, but he’s fairly certain that today is the closest he’s ever been. Poison has never been a part of the job description before and it’s making Danny realize that 5-0 means everything is on the table. Bullets and poison and bombs, oh my.

Every time his breath hitches in his throat, Danny has a moment of panic and he reaches for the pretty red button that will summon an army of nurses. Then it passes and he doesn’t and he’s just waiting. Waiting for what? Rachel has taken Grace home. The doctors are supposed to discharge him in the morning. He is waiting for Steve, as he has been for almost six months. Waiting is all he ever seems to do. But then, for someone like Steve McGarrett, the waiting seems worth it, because when he smiles, Danny feels there cannot possibly be anything wrong with the world. 

This is not that kind of metaphysical waiting, though. Steve texted an hour ago to say he would check in on Danny on his way home, and Danny has been waiting ever since. That was when breathing started to get hard again, not like this morning, but like the butterflies in his stomach have somehow found their way into his lungs. 

“Hi.” And there he is, standing in the doorway, looking sheepish. Steve holds a half-wilted bouquet of flowers at his side.

“You brought me flowers?” Danny asks in lieu of a greeting.

“I, um… I tried to, but it’s late and most of the flower stands are closed and this is all I could find. I’m sorry, it’s really- well, it’s sad, frankly.”

“Yeah. It is. Thank you.” Steve sets the flowers aside and pulls a chair up to Danny’s bedside. He looks tired. He always looks tired these days. He’s not as unbreakable as he makes himself out to be. Danny is surprised that he seems to be the only one who’s figured that out.

“I’ve been worried about you all day,” Steve says, dispensing with small talk. They’re beyond small talk now. “I kept my phone at max volume with vibrate on because if the hospital called, or Rachel, or Grace-”

“You have Grace’s phone number?”

“Of course. Anyway, I couldn’t risk missing a call.” Danny bites back a smile. On Grace’s speed dial, there are four names: Danny (of course), Rachael (also a given), Stan (Danny would have preferred that Stan be left off but that was not his decision), and now Steve. Uncle Steve to Grace. The only person other than Rachel (and occasionally Kamekona) who Danny would entrust his daughter to in an emergency. This has been an emergency and Steve has been there for Grace and if Danny wasn’t already falling he sure is now.

“Thanks, but I’m alright. They flushed all the sarin out of my system. We got it in time.” Danny smiles and tries to look reassuring. 

“I know, and I’m thanking God for that, trust me. I just keep seeing you and hearing you telling me you can’t breathe. Every time I close my eyes, you’re there, and I think you’re dying again, and even though I know you aren’t, there’s some kind of disconnect because knowing you’re okay doesn’t make me feel any better.”

“Hey.” Danny reaches out and squeezes Steve’s shoulder. “I’m here, and you’re here, and no one’s dying. Not today, not for a long time.” Steve reaches up and puts his hand over Danny’s. He snorts and shakes his head.

“Now, what the hell are you doing comforting me?”

“We’re partners, Steve. I’m always going to be scared for you and you’re always going to be scared for me and that’s what keeps us from getting hurt. Well, killed, anyway.” Steve smirks, but he doesn’t look reassured.

“I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to quit, you know.” His voice is different now. Softer. Rounded at the edges. “This isn’t what you signed up for, and you have Grace to think about and-”

“Steve. No.” It floors Danny how quickly he is able to say no, but it is the right response. He has no doubt of that. “I’m not leaving Five-O and I’m not leaving you and that’s the end of it.” Steve just keeps shaking his head.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“But it did, and I’m fine, and I’ll be more careful about what I touch next time. You-” He pokes Steve hard in the chest. “You have to stop beating yourself up. Things are going to happen. From time to time, one of us is going to get hurt. We knew that when we signed up and even though I figured it would be more run-of-the-mill bullets, I knew that this was going to be dangerous. It’s my choice to be here. You think I’ve stuck by your side for eight months because, what, I like you?” That gets a laugh out of Steve. “We’re doing good work. I don’t regret any of it. Except punching you in the face that one time, ‘cause you’ve got such a pretty face, it would have been a shame to mess it up.” Steve raises his eyebrows and touches his own nose gently.

“You think I’m pretty?”

“No, _you_ think you’re pretty, and if I’d have broken your nose, I’d never have heard the end of it.”

“Oh, you think you could’ve broken my nose? You think your punch was that good?”

“I know my punch was that good-”

“Please, you couldn’t break my nose if you-”

“Come over here and let’s go another round, alright?” They are bickering like usual again, the kind of bickering that makes strangers ask if they’re recently married. It’s funny, and it’s how Danny knows they will be alright. “Seriously, though. C’mere.” Danny beckons Steve over, and to his amusement, Steve obeys, grinning. He leans over Danny, blocking out some of the overhead light. “I’m gonna get out of here, and we’re going to find Wo Fat, and we’re going to make him pay for what he did to your mom.” He can hardly focus on what he’s saying. Steve has one hand planted on the wall over Danny’s head and the other three inches from his hip and this is the stuff of Danny’s dreams. “And I’m going to be okay, and it’s all going to be okay.”

“Is it? Is it all gonna be okay?” Steve asks. His tone is mocking, but it’s a genuine question.

“Yes, we are.” All is still in the world. There is no motion, no sound. And that is how Danny is sure this time, he is sure that he sees Steve move. Steve is leaning down, closing the inches between himself and Danny and-

“Excuse me.” All of a sudden, there is a nurse in the doorway. “Sir, visiting hours are over. You can come back tomorrow, but you need to go.” Steve glances back at her and then at Danny and grins.

“Tomorrow, Danno,” he says. “Get some sleep. I’ll keep my phone on.” The nurse leads him away and Danny thinks maybe he’s just almost died for the second time in one day.

_\+ 1. green light_

It has been too long since the last night like this. 

Steve is behind the wheel of Danny’s car, one-handing the wheel so he can fiddle with the radio. The windows are down, and salty air blows through Danny’s hair. Funny to think that yesterday, Steve was still in prison. He had looked so different when Danny came to visit him, his stubble overgrown and his cargo pants exchanged for an orange jumpsuit. But now he’s had a shower and a shave, and in his old clothes, he is the same Steve as always. They pass under a streetlight and he is briefly illuminated in gold. That is where he looks the best, Danny thinks. In the light. Darkness does not suit Steve McGarrett. 

“We never really got a chance to talk,” Steve says without taking his eyes off the road. “I mean, between the running from the police and scrambling to find something to exonerate me and then hunting down Wo Fat-”

“No. We didn’t.” Danny chokes on his own breath. It’s been a year, and none of it has gone away. Steve… and whatever feelings Danny may have for him. 

“You just-” 

“I’m really-” Danny says at the same time. They share a quick glance and chuckle. “You go first.”

“Okay. Um, I just wanted to say… you never stopped believing in my innocence. And you never stopped trying to prove it, even when I told you to leave me alone. And that’s- well, I can never thank you enough for that.”

“I wasn’t the only one. Kono, Joe, Max, Kamekona, even Chin, really-”

“I know that. And I’m thankful to them, too. But you have Gracie to think about, and you still spent all your time for the last week trying to prove I didn’t kill the governor. You ever think you’d do that for someone you used to hate?” Danny shakes his head.

“I didn’t hate you.”

“You punched me!”

“Okay, I acted like I hated you, but I just hated everything back then. I hated Rachel, I hated Hawaii, I hated myself… and then you came along and I couldn’t hate you. I mean, just look at that smile.” Grinning, Steve turns a corner. “Seriously. I never doubted you. Not for a minute. It’s important to me that you know that.”

“Yeah, Danno. I know it.” It’s a peaceful night. They don’t talk. Springsteen plays on the radio. “So, what were you gonna say?” The light ahead turns yellow and Steve slows the car to a stop.

“Huh?”

“You were going to say something, but you let me go first.”

“Oh. It’s nothing. Just… I’m really glad you’re okay.” It’s that stupid smile that Steve reserves just for him, all white teeth and crinkly eyes and unbridled joy. That’s what does him in. He’s smiling now and it turns the night into day. As Springsteen sings about the river and cars whizz by in front of them, Danny leans over the console, using one hand to turn Steve’s face towards him, and he does the only thing he can think to do. He kisses Steve. 

It’s been a long time since Danny had his last first kiss. It’s been a long time since he’s kissed anyone at all, at least in any real way. He’s not sure he’s any good at it. He is sure, however, that Steve has been frozen since the instant Danny’s lips touched his. He pulls away, letting his hand fall and land on the gearshift.

“Okay. You’re not saying anything. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-” Steve kisses him. Steve kisses _him._ Holy shit, Steve kisses him! There is a moment between the silence and the kiss, where Steve pulls Danny in by the back of his head, but Danny doesn’t know when it comes, only that one moment, he thinks he has ruined everything, and the next, he is being kissed by Steve McGarrett. This is the moment he has been waiting over a year for, and it is worth it for the fireworks exploding behind his eyelids. The breeze is cool through the open windows, but Danny feels nothing but heat, gasoline in his lips and a match in Steve’s and a fire that has been waiting to start. 

And the light turns green and there are people honking behind them, but Danny does not care because he has a fistful of Steve’s shirt and his hair is falling into his eyes and Steve is pulling him in even closer with those big, flat hands. 

He hears the honking after a long few seconds and turns back to the wheel and the road, slamming on the accelerator without giving Danny a second glance. They’re clear of downtown Honolulu before Danny has his head on straight enough to even wonder what that was. He wants to rewind time to that kiss, or the moment just before, so he can smack past-Danny across the face and tell him not to be so stupid. Unfortunately, he can’t. He glances at Steve in the rearview mirror. Is this eating him up inside as much as it is Danny? It would help if he wasn’t such a fucking enigma. Every time Danny thinks he’s got Steve all worked out, it suddenly becomes apparent that he doesn’t and that he never will. Can he keep doing this? Can he keep trying to reach a futile conclusion?

Steve pulls the car into his driveway. The house is dark. He will go inside, alone, and Danny will drive home, wondering what it all means. It’s infuriating, all the skating around one another, the constant build without a climax. Like climbing a mountain only to discover you can’t see anything from the summit.

They are still sitting in the car, not looking at each other. Steve reaches for the door handle.

“Bye,” he says. Danny scoffs.

“‘Bye’? You had your tongue in my mouth ten minutes ago and all you have to say is ‘bye’?” It just slips out, but Danny doesn’t regret it. He regrets all the questions he didn’t ask, not the one he did.

“What do you want me to say?” Sighing, Steve folds his arms across his chest. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing anymore.”

“Okay? Neither do I. None of us do. I just know…” Danny unbuckles his seatbelt and twists in his seat so that he’s facing Steve. “That was a good kiss.”

“It was a great kiss.”

“Okay, Casanova, let’s calm down.” Steve smiles, which makes Danny smile.

“Look, I’m sorry, alright? I panicked. I didn’t see it coming. I didn’t see you coming.”

“That’s just fine, ‘cause I never saw you coming either. But I’ve been sitting here, waiting for you to kiss me like that since last September, and as humiliating as it is to admit that, I’m sick of waiting.” Steve bites his lip and taps his fingers on the steering wheel.

“I tried. Like, six times. I got myself all psyched up to do it and then I kept losing my nerve at the last second. I almost got there at the hospital last week, but we were interrupted.”

“I thought I imagined it.”

“You didn’t. I’m just a little more of a coward than I let on.”

“You’re not a coward, Steve. I’ve been doing the same thing.” Danny shakes his head. “We’re pretty stupid, huh?”

“Speak for yourself.”

“Hey-” Steve cuts off his protest with another kiss, and Danny forgets what he was going to say. _I could live like this forever,_ he thinks. “You should get inside,” he murmurs into Steve’s lips.

“Yeah, probably.” Steve pulls away and Danny can still feel the outline of Steve’s hand on his throat. “I’m going in.” He doesn’t move.

“Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you going?” 

“I don’t want to.” Danny lets his forehead fall against Steve’s.

“Go.” He kisses Steve again. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Alright.” Steve hands him the keys and goes to open the door. “Wait, I forgot something.”

“What?” Quickly, Steve leans in and presses his lips against Danny’s.

“That. Bye.” He gets out of the car and shuts the door. Danny slips out too, watching Steve walk to his house in the cool night air. Silhouetted against the light over the front door, Steve looks back at him, and Danny thinks he smiles. Then he disappears inside and Danny is left alone. A giggle bubbles up out of him, a giggle that rapidly turns into a chuckle and then he’s full on laughing alone in Steve’s driveway, leaning against the hood of his own car. He whoops and listens to the sound echo away into the Hawaiian wilderness. He has never felt like this before in his life, not even the first time he kissed Rachel. The waiting almost seems worth it.

Danny gets into the driver’s seat, slips the keys in the ignition, and turns on the radio. “Peaceful Easy Feeling” by the Eagles is playing. He smiles. Everything has brought them to this point. From nothing but the slightest inkling of a crush to the best kiss of Danny’s life. The best five kisses, actually. 

Nothing has changed. They are still bickering like an old married couple, and they are still running headfirst into danger.

Everything has changed. Danny knows for the first time that he is not alone, that the things he thought he imagined are really real. 

They are Steve and Danny. They will always be Steve and Danny. But tonight, that started to mean something different, and Danny is seeing everything in an entirely new light.


End file.
